I'm an American...Kiwi

What does that even mean? But I am one. Some days I feel EXTRA American. Different doesn't even began to describe it.

In the last week I have vacillated between loving being an American to beating myself up I can't just accept I live in this culture. Today I felt this collision again.

I met a Canadian lady at Max's music class. She's from the west coast of North America. It was effortless, emotional, encouraging, easy. She responded with huge facial expressions and shared in my love for a Starbucks. I was reminded of the ease I don't often feel here. It's not horrible, but it's not ease I would classify relationships here as. Different. Not. Bad. I left thinking again of my plight to accept the culture I live in as my own. I watch a great friend (an American) living in another country embrace it with such grace. Sigh. That's not me. I'm working on it and trying not to bristle at what I don't agree with it & feel like I fight against. Again, sigh. I'm working on me.

That wasn't the end of my very American day. I watched the news & in true American stereotype form I'm fascinated with the country's current top news story. But today an appalling story of watching public officials crush dreams killed me. There are valid points on both sides, but all day long I pondered it and still came up angry, wanting to defend this brood of young boys who obnoxiously race cars. Not because I endorse car racing or because I condone law breaking, BUT because I believe in finding a way to allow people to live their passions. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING enticing to me about car racing, but to some young guy there is. It's his pride and joy. I watched appalled as a public official gloated like an American cheerleader at her winning football team, gloat at wrecking a guy's car. So I did it. I felt extra American as I wrote a letter to my local official and a local talk show personality.

As well as the above I found myself talking to the children's pastor at the church I've been trying in order to share my concerns about Max's class. To which she responded great, but saying, "Thank you we never get feedback." Leave it to the American Mom. I felt kids were endangered. I had to say something

Tonight Sam lovingly teased me I was writing a letter to the government. Oh no, I didn't want to he "that" person! I looked up from my computer and said, "I'm not writing a letter I'm defending freedom and passions of these kids."

Yep. I'm an American....Kiwi. I'm figuring out how to create my own culture in the midst of any culture. I'll always be loud, opinionated and overly expressive, but hopefully as I adapt to cultures I'll relax and just be the me I'm becoming:: An American...Kiwi.