Between.

Somewhere between faith and fear is where I've been this week. As a teeter totter goes up and down so has my soul. Waiting is never easy. Yet it's doable. Standing holding hope seems impossible some days. Yet it isn't. Thanking God when it seems like the carpets been ripped out from under you seems crazy. Yet it is life giving.

Between faith and fear is where I stood this week. True. But I think that while there was more fear than I hoped there was less fear than there used to be in similar situations. One day the teeter totter will be more totter (faith) then teeter(fear) but for now I feel thankful that my faith is growing. As much as I love comfort & security I love growing and feeling alive. Lest you think I'm super spiritual. I cried about 20 times this week, panicked, called friends in tears, skyped my parents totally fine & burst into tears (like a 16 year old hormonal girl!) and left Max's music class to whine to my best friend when she called me from America. Oh yeah & I told a customer service guy he was rude (which he was kind of rude, I think. Not quite sure since I was taking out a week of anger on him) and disciplined Max out of anger while he constantly kept screaming in an office we were having a meeting in this week. To which Max laughed harder the more mad I got. Brilliant.

As I end my week though this is true. Max is alive. God is faithful. I love my husband. We survived & even enjoyed yet another week in a hotel. I LOVE modern technology and iPhones! And God is paying attention in such a good mood towards us. Whew.