Today I woke up with a HUGE smile on my face. Maybe it's because we are going to a Gala at Rosie and James' school with games for kids, booths, hot chocolate and even fireworks! Or maybe it is the relaxed nature of being back in NZ. Or maybe it is because I am LOVING being Sam's wife. I don't know if it is because we fell in love here and to be back brings back so many fun memories or if it is just in the air. I can't seem to stop smiling as I hold his hand and get our life sorted here.
We are pretty tired for sure, but are having a great time with his family. It is such a perfect set up for us and the way they made us feel so welcome was exactly what I needed. We are close to family and I can hang out with people whenever I want...I am loving spending time with Rosie...we watched You've Got Mail yesterday (Sam is pretty stoked I have a new "girl movie" partner) and we both smiled just as big at the ending...we are going to make great sisters! We have got to see Tom 2 or 3 times already and will either go down and see Gracie or she will be up in January. Currently Sam is loving playing video games with James and has, like you saw yesterday, already been on the motor bikes with him. They are all pretty excited to have Sam back and I like to think I am like the sprinkles on top of the ice cream :) At least let's hope so :)
So tonight like I said we are off to a Gala...it is a mix between the 4th of July (complete with fireworks like I said) and a harvest carnival. As you can imagine I am WAY excited and Sam is loving that I am excited and not really loving the idea of going :)
I think in the end there is just a different side of me that comes out in NZ...a more relaxed at ease side of me that I love. The next few weeks will be full of planning and sorting life out but I can't imagine my life any better.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Our New "Farm" Life
We arrived in New Zealand after MUCH drama and hassle in San Francisco! My parents were troopers and my husband was AMAZING at making the drama cease and even getting us onto a direct flight from San Francisco to New Zealand. Saying good bye to my parents was very tough, taking off from SF was very tough, thinking of what was ahead was very tough, but with that said, it was worth it once I faced all the fears, tears and change. Sam was magnificent while I cried through the entire take off--crying still once they had turn off the "fasten seat belt" sign. I was amazed once again at that familiar feeling....when fear and courage collide. Once you break through that overwhelming, breathtaking fear and actually get to the other side accepting the new or the change...there is this rush of peace and excitement along with this rush that comes from trusting God and my new husband in the unknown.
And now....here is our new life....
Sam was on a motor bike before the care engine was even off
Here is our little house on the other side of the pool
The entrance to our little house
His mom had the cupboards stocked with food, a jug for hot drinks, tea, coffee, and cookies along with jams and spreads for toast...plus a little fridge filled with food (including Diet Coke...they know their daughter in law well) and a toaster for breakfast..
The CUTEST bathroom Sam's dad made for us...do you see the cute way his mom hung the towels?!?!
My new Kiwi life...
Outside our bedroom window...YEP a chicken coop! These are especially for Sea Jay & Danielle! You want one so bad and I just landed in a farm where I get to go get fresh eggs every mornring! The irony...
yep that is a clothes line...I will have to hang dry every thing now :)
The front yard...
Sam's brother James with his guinea pig (one of the many animals here...currently a cat is sitting beneath my feet as I type and a bird and a poodle dog are in the house with numerous chickens wandering around outside...:)
The back yard
And now....here is our new life....
Sam was on a motor bike before the care engine was even off
Here is our little house on the other side of the pool
The entrance to our little house
His mom had the cupboards stocked with food, a jug for hot drinks, tea, coffee, and cookies along with jams and spreads for toast...plus a little fridge filled with food (including Diet Coke...they know their daughter in law well) and a toaster for breakfast..
The CUTEST bathroom Sam's dad made for us...do you see the cute way his mom hung the towels?!?!
My new Kiwi life...
Outside our bedroom window...YEP a chicken coop! These are especially for Sea Jay & Danielle! You want one so bad and I just landed in a farm where I get to go get fresh eggs every mornring! The irony...
yep that is a clothes line...I will have to hang dry every thing now :)
The front yard...
Sam's brother James with his guinea pig (one of the many animals here...currently a cat is sitting beneath my feet as I type and a bird and a poodle dog are in the house with numerous chickens wandering around outside...:)
The back yard
Monday, October 26, 2009
Livin' the Dream
I was looking at the title of the blog as I was waiting for the page to load and I just had to smile. Live....Dream....Hope. It really would be those three words that I would hope others would use to describe my life. To live and dream and hope is what keeps me alive. It is what makes me remember that life is a gift, it also at times is what makes me cry or stare in shock at what just happened. But at the end of the day I want to be a person who lives, who dreams and who even dares to hope again and again.
As we get the last minute things together to get on the plane today I am full of hope. I am not sure how to feel or what to think and last night on one last trip to the store I told Sam, "Well, if I am not sure what I think or feel then I am going to live in the excitement that is rising up in me." Of all the emotions and lack of emotions that seem to be swirling around me that I just don't have words for, excitement has been the consistent one. When things were chaotic and even tougher than I imagined, I still felt this tiny spark of excitement. I don't know if it is my love of a story and a great adventure or the reality that leaving one thing means I get to try something new and I love starting new things, or just the pureness and simplicity of getting to do life with Sam. I have a feeling it was a mixture of all those things. Whatever it was EXCITEMENT has been there the entire time. And I leave today with excitement being the one emotion I can articulate and enjoy.
After a fun weekend with family and friends, where Sam actually ate cake! Granted it was my dad's AMAZING Rum Cake that I asked him to especially make before we left, but still...cake, Sam, eating it...never thought I would see that :)
As we get the last minute things together to get on the plane today I am full of hope. I am not sure how to feel or what to think and last night on one last trip to the store I told Sam, "Well, if I am not sure what I think or feel then I am going to live in the excitement that is rising up in me." Of all the emotions and lack of emotions that seem to be swirling around me that I just don't have words for, excitement has been the consistent one. When things were chaotic and even tougher than I imagined, I still felt this tiny spark of excitement. I don't know if it is my love of a story and a great adventure or the reality that leaving one thing means I get to try something new and I love starting new things, or just the pureness and simplicity of getting to do life with Sam. I have a feeling it was a mixture of all those things. Whatever it was EXCITEMENT has been there the entire time. And I leave today with excitement being the one emotion I can articulate and enjoy.
After a fun weekend with family and friends, where Sam actually ate cake! Granted it was my dad's AMAZING Rum Cake that I asked him to especially make before we left, but still...cake, Sam, eating it...never thought I would see that :)
Also getting some warm and perfectly wonderful Booties from Aunt Velma was a hit of the day too. My Auntie Velma is 94 and still has more life than I do some days. She has been making our family booties since I can remember and her special gift to Sam and I was a pair each for those cold winters in New Zealand. Here are some fun pics of us modeling our new booties (which we actually wore all day on Sunday and which I also put in my carry on for the flight)
We loved getting to see family before we left. I LOVE parties and it made me just smile to see everyone hanging out around the table. And we got to see Stacie and Forest and Nathanael one last time before we left too! It was such a treat to have them spend the night and Stacie and I even got to laugh at our favorite old movies from college!
Now after spending the entire day on Sunday packing, we have EVERYTHING in suitcases (thanks to my mom getting us space savers! Thanks MOM!) We are finally ready to head out. For now we say good bye from America but will soon be saying hello from New Zealand!
Friday, October 23, 2009
3 Days & Counting
I spent the last 10 or so days up in Redding. There is just something about that town for me. I seem to center back into who I am and who I was created to be. Life doesn't all stop, nor do problems go away, but something very real and tangible happens for me in this town. It is such a surreal experience to be there with Sam. A year ago I was sharing a room with a 6 year old (who I LOVE and loved getting to cuddle with all week!) and wondering what the heck I was going to do now in life.
This Fall life is just different and so much more than I could have ever hoped. In 3 days we will be heading to New Zealand to start our new life together. I can't imagine our life any different than it is. We both love adventure and love the excitement of travel, who would have thought that in our first year of life together we would have got to see so much....New Zealand, Fiji, Los Angeles, the all important Redding :), Florida, and now back to New Zealand. Plus, who can forget our EPIC trip across the country! What a full and crazy life we have already led and we are only in month 4 of our marriage!
It was so good to be up in Redding before we embark on this new journey. I feel centered and "more like myself." I never cease being myself, and in this last month there has been so much thrown my way, it wasn't that I wasn't myself, it was just that I didn't always like the "myself" that seem to keep surfacing. I spent time with people that know me, I was refreshed by just being, I saw growth in myself from last year and I did the thing that I love to do...LAUGH. I feel like Sam and I got to laugh together, and laugh at anything and everything. My favorite thing that made me laugh was seeing my best friend's kids constantly attached to my husband. There are so many moments I can remember sitting on Sea's couch wondering if I would ever be married and dealing with the emotions that came with that. Ironically, the week before I ever even stepped foot in NZ I had a good cry that I was heading off to live this adventure filled life, but I will never be married because I don't stay put long enough for anyone to get to know me. Funny, how life turned out. I might not stay put but God created someone that was willing to come get me wherever I was. And now about 2 years from that good last "I'm going to be single forever cry" I was sitting on that same couch with Lakey and Raya climbing all over Sam, saying "Sam is my fwavorite", "I yove Sam and only Sam", and "he's my Sam not yours dana" What a sweet thing to come full circle in my life.
Redding is a place I rest, dream, laugh, cry and just be me without any effort. This trip was different than any other trip to Redding, and while I left sad, I left so full at the same time.
We are spending time with family & friends up at my parents then on Monday afternoon we head to San Francisco for our next journey. I don't think I know how to feel or what to expect, and some how in the chaos and hell that was this last few weeks I have watched myself chill out a bit and start to just roll with the punches and suck up every minute of life. I love my family. I love my friends and I adore my husband more than words can say....and now we will get on a plane holding hands, unsure of what the future holds but so sure of the hand we are holding.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Apple Hill
We got to see some of my best friends this weekend. My college roommate & her husband just adopted the CUTEST little baby. We are so excited to have him in our life! His grandma had a party in Auburn for him and we got to be there. It was so fun to see friends & celebrate, not only Nathanael, but also the answer to prayer he was for Stacie & Forest.
Things don't always go as planned but thinking about Nathanael & how long they had to wait for him, I couldn't imagine them with anyone but their son. I'm always learning that as you lay down expectations you often end up with something you couldn't even fathom. It's as if at times dreams or expectations get so big they block out many other things that are far more than you could have ever hoped for. In the process of learning that Nathanael and Apple Hill became tangible reminders.
The next morning we woke up & went up to Apple Hill. It was nothing that I expected. I thought it was one orchard on one hill with a few trees and yummy treats. There was an orchard, yes, but so much more. There was orchard after orchard filled with apples, apple pies, apple turn overs, fresh apple cider, & my personal favorite--Carmel apples!
I saw 5 little kids have so much fun, I saw unconditional love in a season where chaos & change seem to be trying to take overtake me, I saw the beauty of friendships that are 15 years old, I saw my friend have her heart's desire & be a mommy, I saw myself learn about love, life, & marriage from my best friends & my husband.
It's funny how sometimes expectations can be so opposite. I thought it was one orchard & that would have been wonderful but instead it was 10 times more than I imagined. I think apple hill taught me a lot & boy did I LOVE that Carmel Apple that Amy & I waited in such a long line for.
Things don't always go as planned but thinking about Nathanael & how long they had to wait for him, I couldn't imagine them with anyone but their son. I'm always learning that as you lay down expectations you often end up with something you couldn't even fathom. It's as if at times dreams or expectations get so big they block out many other things that are far more than you could have ever hoped for. In the process of learning that Nathanael and Apple Hill became tangible reminders.
The next morning we woke up & went up to Apple Hill. It was nothing that I expected. I thought it was one orchard on one hill with a few trees and yummy treats. There was an orchard, yes, but so much more. There was orchard after orchard filled with apples, apple pies, apple turn overs, fresh apple cider, & my personal favorite--Carmel apples!
I saw 5 little kids have so much fun, I saw unconditional love in a season where chaos & change seem to be trying to take overtake me, I saw the beauty of friendships that are 15 years old, I saw my friend have her heart's desire & be a mommy, I saw myself learn about love, life, & marriage from my best friends & my husband.
It's funny how sometimes expectations can be so opposite. I thought it was one orchard & that would have been wonderful but instead it was 10 times more than I imagined. I think apple hill taught me a lot & boy did I LOVE that Carmel Apple that Amy & I waited in such a long line for.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Change of Seasons
"Every Season Has a Beginning and an End"
The definition of a season is just that--a time in life or the year that has a beginning and an ending. That is one of my favorite all time quotes. I actually don't even know who first said it, or if, in a time when I needed hope the basic idea of what a season really was came to me to bring me peace and inspire me to hope beyond my circumstance.
I will admit it I LOVE the summer season! I love being in a sun dress, I love going to the beach, I love not being cold, I love how carefree people seem to be in the summer....I just love the smiles that seem to erupt much easier in summer. But the reality is I LOVE Autumn. I love watching my friends get excited about Pumpkin Spice Lattes, I love seeing the leaves change, I love watching the smiles when people get to put on that first long sleeve shirt of the season.
Actually, I LOVE winter too. I know shocking to hear from me, but I do. I love wearing winter clothes, I love getting hot chocolate and I love the anticipation of Christmas lights and the start to a brand new year. Then comes Spring and you guessed it....I LOVE Spring. I love the idea that out of a cold dark season like winter something was being developed and now with the arrival of spring we get to see it...the fresh flower, the green of the leaves, the colors and smells that were missed for a season, and the warmth of a sun that was gone for so long.
It's good to have seasons, it helps me be reminded that the world is bigger than me. That life continues to move on and there are new things that are unseen and undiscovered. I have always equated my life circumstances to seasons. I think it was my way of coping through life at times, but for me the analogy made so much sense. My life has seemed to parallel the season's of year so often. The truth is no season is ALL good or ALL bad...it is the coexistence of both. Yes, there are cold and dark and dry moments of winter, but winter also brings cuddling underneath a blanket with a cup of warm coffee or cocoa or tea and reading a book or watching TV. For me it isn't always just finding the good in a season but realizing that their is a coexistence of good and bad.
This last season of life brought SO much good. I fell in love with my best friend, I lived in a new state, I got married on the beach, I experienced life with my husband. This season also had some hard moments that were not at always what we expected, but at the same time I have to look at this season and say, "Yes it was not what I expected some days, but when I look back it turned out to be better than I could have ever hoped." We went to Florida and while we had to leave....we also were able to dream about another adventure, and living life in New Zealand and becoming the couple God created us to be. What a privilege to dream with your friend and then see those dreams begin to come true as we take the first small step towards them.
We are off to New Zealand and with the change of a season I thought it was time to change my blog. I will share my process of life and dreams and hopes. Thank you for being a part of our lives. We feel thankful and loved by our friends and with great excitement we start this new unknown season and invite you to be a part of our season with us.
The definition of a season is just that--a time in life or the year that has a beginning and an ending. That is one of my favorite all time quotes. I actually don't even know who first said it, or if, in a time when I needed hope the basic idea of what a season really was came to me to bring me peace and inspire me to hope beyond my circumstance.
I will admit it I LOVE the summer season! I love being in a sun dress, I love going to the beach, I love not being cold, I love how carefree people seem to be in the summer....I just love the smiles that seem to erupt much easier in summer. But the reality is I LOVE Autumn. I love watching my friends get excited about Pumpkin Spice Lattes, I love seeing the leaves change, I love watching the smiles when people get to put on that first long sleeve shirt of the season.
Actually, I LOVE winter too. I know shocking to hear from me, but I do. I love wearing winter clothes, I love getting hot chocolate and I love the anticipation of Christmas lights and the start to a brand new year. Then comes Spring and you guessed it....I LOVE Spring. I love the idea that out of a cold dark season like winter something was being developed and now with the arrival of spring we get to see it...the fresh flower, the green of the leaves, the colors and smells that were missed for a season, and the warmth of a sun that was gone for so long.
It's good to have seasons, it helps me be reminded that the world is bigger than me. That life continues to move on and there are new things that are unseen and undiscovered. I have always equated my life circumstances to seasons. I think it was my way of coping through life at times, but for me the analogy made so much sense. My life has seemed to parallel the season's of year so often. The truth is no season is ALL good or ALL bad...it is the coexistence of both. Yes, there are cold and dark and dry moments of winter, but winter also brings cuddling underneath a blanket with a cup of warm coffee or cocoa or tea and reading a book or watching TV. For me it isn't always just finding the good in a season but realizing that their is a coexistence of good and bad.
This last season of life brought SO much good. I fell in love with my best friend, I lived in a new state, I got married on the beach, I experienced life with my husband. This season also had some hard moments that were not at always what we expected, but at the same time I have to look at this season and say, "Yes it was not what I expected some days, but when I look back it turned out to be better than I could have ever hoped." We went to Florida and while we had to leave....we also were able to dream about another adventure, and living life in New Zealand and becoming the couple God created us to be. What a privilege to dream with your friend and then see those dreams begin to come true as we take the first small step towards them.
We are off to New Zealand and with the change of a season I thought it was time to change my blog. I will share my process of life and dreams and hopes. Thank you for being a part of our lives. We feel thankful and loved by our friends and with great excitement we start this new unknown season and invite you to be a part of our season with us.
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