Ah...the City

Sam and I are heading to Auckland! I don't think I have been this excited to get away and go to a big city in years. I have a love/hate relationship with L.A. While being away so long and living in a VERY small town with all the small town extras,
aka: showing up at a party and having other people tell you what's going on in your life when you haven't seen them in months....that's always a small town favorite moment) I am more than ready for the city, even the traffic.

This is the skyline of Auckland. The picture is super small sorry, but hopefully you can see it.


We are also going to Sam's Nana's house. These two experiences in and of themselves take Sam to a whole new place. HE LOVES AUCKLAND and HIS NANA!! Sam grew up in Auckland in a place called Devonport. Here are just a couple pictures below. Going there transports him back to some of his fondest life memories and being in those memories with him and hearing him replay his love for that area is one of my favorite things. The plan is technically to go there and get a car, but even if that doesn't work out the time away, his Nana, old friends, and being in the city will be more than worth it!




So off we go to the city for a few moments of escape and excitement. Cities brings back so many memories for both of us, nostalgia always seems to set in once I enter a city. I tend to reminisce about all the cities that I have been to in the different countries I have visited and lived. It's funny how cities in general are a memory trigger, but to share memories with each other, laugh about times of getting lost or accosted in places like Kiev Ukraine or Beijing will fill our trip with laughter and fun.

AUCKLAND HERE WE COME!

Relax

A few friends of mine have adopted or are currently in the adoption process for their kiddos in Ethiopia. My friend April that is still waiting for her two little ones has had such a process of waiting. Today I was catching up on her blog and saw a part of the Bible that I added below. It struck me today how God doesn't intend us to live stressed yet, often times, that is how I have lived this last few months. In an email conversation with my friend Abby today I realized something that I hadn't put into words yet. This little baby moving around in me gaining more and more life by the moment immediately halted much of my stress. As much as I hate to admit reality, I was stressed and I was nursing some hurtful wounds. I felt it and didn't quite move on yet. The feeling was a good thing, but the not moving on was not beneficial. I tried, I really thought I had at least. All of a sudden a new little life in me gave me such perspective. As if my baby was already talking and God was echoing these words seemed real and fresh, "Knock it off, let go and enjoy the baby for goodness sake." Now that might be my translation, I don't quite think the God of this universe speaks to us like that, yet the tone was sweet and gentle. The baby on the other hand, if it's a girl might just quite say it like that :)

To let go and move past moments of disappointment, hurt, forgiveness of yourself or others and enjoy the life in front of you is sometimes a seemingly insurmountable task, but over and over if you can hang on just one more week and see how you are and how the situation is things just might began to come clearer. (even, like me if you have to say "just one more week" 20 weeks in a row or more) Timing is not always in our choosing, but this part of the Bible spoke to me in a humorous way reminding me that sometimes our God is quite tongue and cheek and doesn't always take Himself or life too seriously. He's got it under control.

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."

Matthew 6:30-33


PS I promise I will put prego pictures up, there just hasn't been much of a change yet at all. When the baby bump begins to show I promise I will let all of you dying to see me pregnant see :)

160 BPM

Moving, chasing, and active. That is what our little baby in my tummy was doing yesterday at the Midwives office as we listened to the heartbeat. She said the baby had a SUPER strong heart beat and in fact most heartbeats are anywhere from 120 to 160 BPM, so our little bubby is alive and well. The midwife kept saying, “Wow that’s a loud strong heart beat.” She had to chase the baby all around my tummy as the baby swam seemingly playing a game of cat and mouse with her.

Watching Sam’s face and listening to that little heartbeat was HOPE in a sound. It has been so hard to find hope some days in the journey the last few months for me and this week I realized afresh that while we didn’t plan this baby, God did and is very pleased with His creation. I love that we have a little bundle of hope inside of me and soon to be outside of me before the year’s end.

We really like our midwife, even though it is still at that awkward getting to know you phase. :) She is very confident and knows a lot about births, women, and NZ healthcare, being a nurse before becoming a midwife. The thing I most love about her is she LOVES what she does. She doesn’t work because she has to or to pay the bills, but because she is wired to do this and is living out her passion. It was one of those moments where I smiled deep inside because the first three people are little bubby will meet absolutely believes in living who you are and discovering your God given gifts and passions. A good way to enter the world….full of hope, full of promise and full of passion---might be passionate screaming but passion nonetheless. :)

Onions in the Soup

Last week I bought a crock pot. It’s funny how little purchases like that can be a giant step of independence at this stage in my life when we are living without a kitchen. I was VERY excited about my crock pot and the freedom of cooking Fall/Winter type meals in our sweet little house. Plus I was making my most favourite Mexican enchiladas which always makes me SMILE! Later in the week I had decided to make a soup that I had found on line that had tons of black beans (and NZ finally has black beans!!! They had NONE when I lived here before, so anything I can find to make with black beans I get very excited about)

The recipe called for onions. I know that Sam doesn’t really like soup in general, and really doesn’t like onions, but in my optimistic head I thought, “Just maybe he will like this soup because it is more like a chilli.” The night before I got everything ready I could: putting out all the cans that were to go in the crock pot, the chicken defrosting in the fridge, and a cut up onion--in order to be all ready for the morning. Thinking that I was doing such a noble act, cutting the onions up the night before as not to overpower Sam with onion smell first thing in the morning before I went to work…yet instead I ended up with a very smell conscience husband not happy with the over powering scent of onions. Our little studio apartment keeps smells at quite a close distance.

As I sleepily found my way to bed, Sam began to comment about the smell. I was sure that it would go away and be fine, since the cut onions were covered. The hours went on and Sam still couldn’t get to sleep because the smell was so overpowering. I do have to admit it was quite STRONG. I was so tired I just didn’t care. Finally at some point well into the night, Sam was placing the cut onions in the bathroom that is not in our little house and I then realized that I still had some onion uncut that I had not placed in sealed bag. OOPS. Sam was not a happy camper and while I knew it was bad I still did want to chuckle to myself at how a little onion smell could disrupt the night and sleep for him. I didn’t chuckle out loud only to myself you will be glad to know.

I did however, think about that experience for the next day or so. It was just one of those moments I couldn’t get out of my heat. I realized how much my life paralleled “onions in the soup.” I LOVED the soup. It was absolutely yummy and filled with good things for the baby and me. I did not love the smell of onions that permeated our house, even though I told Sam it wasn’t that bad. Hehehehe.

The next night I realized that part of what made that soup so good was the onions that added to the flavor, but wasn’t actually tasted in the final product. So much of life this last year has had many “onion” moments. Moments where tears flowed without preparation and with no sight in end, where the smell was so strong we wanted to run away, where the overpowering took us out for weeks at a time. Yet, same as the soup, our life is being created and even the moments that might “smell” or make me cry it doesn’t mean the “soup” is going to be bad.

I just ate some left our soup for lunch and savored each bite and was thankful that even onions can teach you something if you are listening.

SCAN aka SONOGRAM

To watch a heart beat, a little life wiggle inside of you and be holding the hand of your best friend is the most surreal feeling I have had to date. Our little bubby aka baby. (Trying to introduce Kiwi phrases just in case they slip out in the near future. They call babies "bubby, bubs, or bub" until really they are well into the toddler years. Plus they call it a "scan" here not a sonogram...just a little Kiwi language lesson for you)

I immediately started crying right away before I think she even had the gel on me...of course. We just stared at this screen watching the baby move all around. It was kind active yet it cooperated perfectly with the technician that did the sonogram. At first I thought, "Oh man this baby is going to be like me...never stopping and always crazy." Then when she said the baby cooperated perfectly I decided well maybe it will be more like Sam. Evidently Sam was the perfect baby and was calm and cruisey. (another Kiwi word...just like it sounds...cruises around with no worries)

I continued to cry and Sam made a joke to make me smile. I really did wonder for a split second if there was an actual baby in there, then this tiny little baby showed up on the screen saying, "HELLO, I'M HERE!"

We didn't get to hear the heart beat, that comes when I go to the Midwife on Monday I believe. It's so different to know what normal is and what to expect but seeing that little life inside of me did make it more real. I still don't feel pregnant at all but I do think it is really sinking in.

As soon as I start showing, other than just gaining weight because I am sure the baby only wants Cadbury Chocolate at this point :) Sam will take another picture and we will begin posting those.

Thanks for reading along with us while I process and try to explain all that is going on. One day I really do hope to write a book or articles or something along those lines and often smile thinking about sharing with all of you, wondering if one day there will be more than just blogs to follow. For now, thank you for reading and sharing in our story!

Today I felt very Kiwi. I got up and walked up the Quarry, I cleaned the house, did the washing...including hanging it out to dry (and I called it washing! Which before I lived here I always said "laundry") and I made brownies from scratch! Not just any brownies, but ones that were secretly healthy. They had spinach and carrot in them!



Evidently you have to wait until they are entirely cool to be able to not taste the secret surprises inside. Sam's family liked them, my mother in law made fun of me and said I would lose all the nutrients out of them, and Sam's Nana, who is here for the weekend, had two!!

I think I might just be ready to be a Kiwi MOM!!

Good thing since by Christmas I will be a MOMMY!!! Yep you read that right! We had the SURPRISE of our lives a few weeks ago. Such a surprise that I burst into tears as I realized what was happening and went straight out and bought another pregnancy test because "Surely that can't be right. We are not having a child in this first crazy year of marriage. We were doing everything to prevent that! And what the heck I don't feel pregnant. I am not even sick!!" Well come to find out my mom had great pregnancy with no morning sickness at all...mystery solved. I haven't had one day of nausea at all and half the time still think, "Is there really a baby in there?"

That second test was positive as well as the Doctor's. We are 12 weeks pregnant and have the sonogram on Thursday morning. To say our life and hearts have been full of emotions, overwhelmed feelings and excitement and terror is an understatement! But as the days have passed I have begun to get more and more excited. Sam has been wonderful in my freak out pregnancy emotions and reminded me that to be a mom is my dream, so God must have thought that right now was the right time, no matter what we were doing.

Since the biggest news of our life I have thought lots about God and what He is doing. I've come to no conclusions at all except this....He knows. He knows. Period. That is one thing I know for sure...He knows all that is happening in our life. I said to Sam last night that I feel like right now we are the two most unlikely candidates God could have chosen to house this little one for nine months and then raise it. God must see something I clearly don't. In many ways though, I have chilled out about all the change and lack of "things" in our life currently. I know stress is awful for your body and mental health and now it doesn't just affect me anymore.

We put all our plans that were in motion on hold after we found out the news, which was the Saturday after I started work. We had to rethink what our year plans were all of a sudden, then Sam went into knee surgery. He is recovering well and as soon as he feels a bit better he will drive up to Auckland and get a car up there (they are tons cheaper and better cars all around up there). Then we will move into our own little place where our family of 2 will quickly turn into a family of 3, barring any other funny things that the Lord has up his sleeve...but seeing twins isn't in our families we might be safe. Then again, nothing that seemed like it was normal or what was going to happen has so until Thursday I am still banking on the fact that anything is possible.

My family and Sam's are THRILLED as you can imagine. My mom has already bought clothes for me and is determined that I will stay cute and pregnant in NZ :) And Sam's mom bought the baby a little rattle, Auntie Rosie just started working in a kid boutique and came home with a cute little onsie in the shape of an ice cream treat! And Sam's Nana came for a visit stocked with clothes and a blanket. My mom continually signs things "grammie" and Sam's Nana and mom are trying to figure out what to be called. And James was running around the house saying, "Uncle James sounds WAY COOLER than Auntie Rosie!"

I think the little one will be well loved in two hemispheres. Especially since I think my parents will come out for Christmas....at least Sam and I are hoping so :) This Christmas will be like none that I ever imagined or expected!

As of right now we are due October 30th, but that may change after the sonogram this week. I will keep you all posted and Sam has promised to take pictures of my growing belly over the next 6 months. He took one the week we found out so we can compare all along the way!!

Thanks for journeying continually with us in our never ending changing lives. I told Sam last week, "After this year I think we can conquer anything together as a family."

American comes to NZ

I was in the grocery store on Friday and saw these



I was so happy that I took a picture and immediately showed Sam and sent it to Sea Jay. He forever teased her about the American laziness displayed in our extraordinary amount of pre made cookie dough. At one point Sea had every type of pre made cookie dough possible...he made so much fun of her. But man did we enjoy all that cookie dough :)

This is all they have, but it's a start. I am sure my mother in law and Sam's Nana and most of my friends would be mortified when I buy this....but buy this I will!!!

HAPPY EASTER

Happy Easter to you! It's Easter night and Sam is on the couch still trying to recover and I just sat down in the quiet of the evening to wish you a Happy Easter. It is almost Easter in America and this year I am missing traditions of home, but loved making new ones here.

I think the last few days by myself with a more than usual quiet husband and no one else to talk to started to show a bit :) I was bummed and grouchy the last few days and couldn't seem to shake it. Luckily though, my old roommate from LA called last night from Ireland and perked me up enough to wake up in a fantastic, non grouchy mood this morning. Finally. It was great to catch up with her. Talk about life, marriage, God and learning again as it was new, the simplicity of following Jesus and loving God. I am so thankful for her and love that God put us together for 3 years in LA....never so much as now with her marrying an Irish guy and moving straight to Ireland. It's been great sharing stories, laughing and just talking about the crazy adventure of living cross culturally with non American husbands! So fun that God gave us the gift of living with each other in LA only to have it continue in such similar patterns later.

We were planning a very quiet low key day since Sam is still feeling quite tired and groggy. I decided to cook Mexican food because it just was such a different Easter experience all the way around that I figured we would top it off with our favorite food at least. I made Sea Jay's yummy white sauce enchiladas and all the extras that go along with Mexican. I was a little bummed to have such a quiet day with no big family gathering, but my friend Sally called and ended up spending the whole day over here with us. It was great to see her and share our first Easter with her. Her and her family (Andy, Georgia and Mackenzie) have been such a gift to us since we arrived in NZ. We have both been completely ourselves around them and love their kids. Andy and Mackenzie were gone for the day and Georgia was visiting her Auntie in Australia, so we had Sally all day. It was great to not be rushed or in need of getting anywhere, to just be relaxed and enjoy relationship.

She helped me make the Enchiladas and frost the cupcakes. Sam was able to get up and enjoy dinner and even had a cupcake! We had such a good first Easter together and in God's perfect way He brought us exactly what we needed when we needed it. I think I was bummed and grouchy with such different holiday experiences this year, but was reminded of God's goodness as I chatted with my roommate from LA and went to bed content and knowing that God is good and loving and never misses a thing. Funny how life just happens and enjoying it instead of complaining about it makes for a much less stressful and fun day.

The funniest part of the day had to be when Sally and I were stuffed after lunch and I said to her, "Well Sally, you have experienced a true American Holiday...so full, your stuffed." She commented back, "It's rather gross isn't it?" I just smiled and thought...oh how different Americans are than Kiwis. They just have no grid for overeating ever, even on a holiday. :)

Sam and Sally enduring a picture...Kiwi's just don't like pictures :)


All the yummy extras...refried beans, Mexican rice, chips and salsa and...


ENCHILADAS!!!


And of course...the cupcakes! Sam loves the mini cupcakes Rosie, his sister, makes him. I thought I would make those as a treat since it's the only thing sweet he kind of likes. I have to confess though....got a box mix from the store. Oh how my mother in law would have died today...I was making cupcakes out of a box and using the dryer all at the same time :)



I hope that your Easter is filled with something special just for you, that you see that God has not forgotten any detail of your heart, and that your day is full.