Surgery Update

He's out of the hospital! It was a long day yesterday, but he didn't have too much pain...the anaesthesia was still kicking in him I think. When they brought him back into the room after surgery he immediately turned on the TV, groggy and all. I looked at him saying, "Really?" He said, "The cricket's on." And so it was. He watched tons of Cricket, until NZ started to lose to the arch rival Australia then he slept on and off the rest of the day.

He had great nurses and a wonderful doctor. I was very impressed with the whole experience. When I got there early this morning he was quite a bit more sore, which is normal. He used crutches to walk but the pain is pretty excruciating, but good for you to walk as much as you can.

We are home now and enjoying a quiet day at home. I took off today as well, just in case, but it turns out I didn't have a car to get to work so I just stayed home too. NZ takes Friday and Monday off for Easter so I ended up with a very long break. Sam's family is traveling away until Monday, the house will be quiet, the DVD's are all rented and I have plenty of books to read as he watches movies that aren't quite my style. :) I offered my girl movies but he just didn't seem to want them.

Thanks for praying with us yesterday!

Here are two pictures, one before surgery and you can see how amused Sam is that I was taking pictures. And the second is his knee. Pretty cool to see and pretty gross all at once.

Sam's in Surgery

I am sitting in Sam's hospital room waiting as he gets his ACL surgery to repair his knee. It's been so long since I've been able to share, but thought I would take a quick second today. I was quite impressed with the medical system here. It's so hard to navigate medical systems at home, but it feels so new and foreign to me here. I have of course asked the inevitable American question, "How much is this going to cost?"
They always smile and just patiently remind me nothing. It's as if I need to be stressed about money, but there is nothing to stress about. Sam is having his surgery at a private hospital, though the government is paying for it. It doesn't make sense to me, but everything is taken care of. I think it's because his orthopedic surgeon does his surgery's here. Who knows? We were told to be here at 6:45am and we went back at 7. They did the pre op stuff and then the surgeon & anesthesiologist came and chatted with him and off he went at 8am. I had heard you go on a list and wait all day, but that wasn't the case for us. I gave him a kiss said "I love you" and walked away. Instantly tears flowed as I walked out of pre op. Maybe because I'm tired, maybe because he was nervous, or maybe because it's just me. Tears. Emotion. Expressing them both.

I walked out and then got lost. I couldn't seem to find my way to the front. I stood there feeling a bit blonde, frozen and thinking I was on the set of Grey's Anatomy." I could just picture myself wandering into the wrong place, so I just stood there waiting for.....well, I don't know actually. Waiting for someone to appear, waiting to stop thinking my life is a tv show, just waiting feeling lost and confused.

Finally, what I think was a surgeon walked out of a long hallway, took compassion on me and showed me out, saying "You don't want to take a wrong turn in this part." Nice.

I walked out partly laughing at myself and partly feeling overwhelmed. Life seems be much like that experience for me right now. Surrounded by order and protocals I don't understand, and people who appear to know what they are doing. I can't seem to find my footing and most of the time feel embarrassed about that.

As I came up to Sam's private room with cable (he's pretty excited about those two things) I realized I might need to make another "What I Know" list.

Here's What I Know Today:

I know that I don't know everything
I know God is good
I know I should trust He's good even when life doesn't make sense
I know today I trust him....maybe just maybe the way it's supposed to be--trusting because you have no where else to turn and no back up plan. Just pure, scary, no safety net trust
I know today He loves me
I know He is faithful because that's who He is.
I know His love and faithfulness aren't dependent on my faith or actions even though my whole being screams the opposite
I know He sees the tiniest of faith within me and is pleased
I know right now I'm going to steal away time with Him in these quiet moments and not distract myself so I don't feel the confusion and chaos in my soul
I know He will be there, regardless of silence or lack of feeling
I know I'll update you when Sam is out of surgery

Change.

Our life, for me can be simplified down to one word: change. That tiny word can hold so much though. I had a few significant things happen this week beyond the new job and apartment hunting. I am really enjoy my new job and have loved the excitement and anticipation of looking for our own place, but something deeper and more meaningful broke through in the ordinary nature of this week.

Change is hidden inside a simple word with complex meaning: challenge. When you slip the middle out of that word you have the word change. In the midst of all our planned and unplanned changes I was reminded this week of the hope that resides in the word challenge. Challenge silently conveys contest, struggle, conquering, and the feeling that come with those. To conquer something is a high in my life that is unmatched by much else. Through a friend sending me an old acquaintance's blog that held an excerpt from her book coming out and another unexpected change for us I was brought to a new place. I saw the challenges and changes very clearly in our life but I missed one little, yet full of impact, word hidden in the midst...hope. I forgot that in challenge you get to experience the sweet fear that is anticipation of conquering a hard task. The butterflies that are the size of eagles in you but that give way to a rush that comes when you have achieved it. I forgot how much I loved watching fear turn to adrenaline to complete joy and feeling of utter ecstatsy.

"Learning to Swim" by Shauna Niequist captures my feeling of this lastest season, and it combined with new challenges catapulted me to a new place. I've placed Shauna's words below and added her link so you can read more of her work. For me in this moment her words in a book yet published inspired me, loved me, reminded me of God, spoke of friends who get you beyond years with very little
contact, and became a sigh in what looks to be a season that is steadily changing.

This communicates my heart, prayers and hopes.

Learning to Swim by Shauna Niequist

I learned about waves when I was little, swimming in Lake Michigan, in navy blue water under a clear sky, and the most important thing I learned was this: if you try to stand and face the wave, it will smash you to bits, but if you trust the water, and let it carry you, there’s nothing sweeter. And a couple decades later, that’s what I’m learning to be true about life, too. If you dig in and fight the change you’re facing, it will indeed smash you to bits. It will hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you.

This last season in my life has been characterized, more than anything else, by change. Hard, swirling, one-after-another changes, so many that I can’t quite regain my footing before the next one comes, very much like being tumbled by waves.

During that season, there were moments when I lost touch with the heart of God’s story, the part where life always comes from death. I love the life part, and I always try to skip over that pesky death part. You can’t do that, as much as I’ve tried.

I believe that God is making all things new. I believe that Christ overcame death and that that pattern is apparent all through life and history: life from death, water from a stone, redemption from failure, connection from alienation. I believe that suffering is a part of the narrative, and that nothing really good gets built when everything’s easy. I believe that loss and emptiness and confusion often give way to new fullness and wisdom. But in that difficult season, I failed to believe in the big, beautiful story of who God is and what He is doing in this world.

If I’m honest, I prayed the way you order breakfast from a short order cook: this is what I want. Period. This is what I want. Aren’t you getting this? I didn’t pray for God’s will to be done in my life, or, at any rate, I didn’t mean it. I prayed to be rescued, not redeemed. I prayed for it to get easier, not that I would be shaped in significant ways. I prayed for the waiting to be over, instead of trying to learn something about patience or anything else for that matter.

What I know now, though, is that change is one of God’s greatest gifts, and most useful tools. I’ve learned that change can push us, pull us, rebuke and remake us. It can show us who we’ve become, in the worst ways, and also in the best ways. I’ve learned that in many cases, change is not a function not life’s cruelty but instead a function of God’s graciousness.

If you dig in and fight the changes, they will smash you to bits. They’ll hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you. But if you can find it within yourself, in the wildest of seasons, just for a moment, to trust in the goodness of God, who made it all and holds it all together, you’ll find yourself drawn along to a whole new place, and there’s truly nothing sweeter. Unclench your fists, unlock your
knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and let God do his work in you.

http://web.me.com/sniequist/shaunaniequist.com/blog/Entries/2010/3/2_learning_to_swim.html

First of Many

Today I was quickly reminded that I was in NZ on SO many levels. It started with the chill that was in the air this morning as I went out for my shower and that stayed with me until 3PM!!!!! I forget the chill that goes deep in my bones here in NZ. I was SO reminded of it today, but quickly prayed for an apartment with heat and kept smiling.

I was secondly reminded when the clock struck 4:30, work was dropped, computers were turned off, chairs were pushed in, and bags were picked up and out the door we went. NZ culture is work hard at work and quit mid-job if you have to once time is up. It made me smile a bit and I thought that I could get really used to this!

Today was full of SO much information with the start of 2 jobs! I just finished up the Partyband job and am trying to get life stuff done before I watch Brothers & Sisters with my sister in law and mother in law. (which is SO entertaining since I pretty much married into the Brothers & Sisters family....)

Salvation Army was a great experience for me today and I learned about the history of the organization and of course, was so inspired by their action and care for society. I sat there amazed that this is where I get to work for at least 4 months. There is something that connects deeply with me and even in the spots that I have never really encouraged or had a chance to live out yet in life, but have had this part of my heart that burns with the action part of helping people in society that desperately need it.

The job is a lot of administration and a lot of customer service. There was a ton of information but it doesn't seem like it will be too stressful of a job. And I get to walk to the Post Office at one point during the day, through town....which just makes me smile! And then later in the evening I get to take the mail again. It was great working with a friend too and think that I will enjoy this job.

Thanks for being such a part of our journey here. It's been a journey that we have stumbled our way through some days and other days thoroughly enjoyed!

We also called on the apartment that we so badly wanted was actually sold (Both of them! There were two that were posted as of last night still but the realtor forgot to take it down....gutted!!!)

Pray that we find something in town and that will be as perfect as a fit as this place (fully furnished, in town, and warm -- okay that is an extra and I know it, but prayers can be asked :)

New New New

NEW JOB

I got the job at Salvation Army Homecare!!!!!! I am working for the Homecare division which supplies care for elderly so that they can stay in their home. Things like housekeeping, meals, hair, baths, and things of that nature are organized for all the clients. I will be working in the office and helping with the administration and coordinating. I am working with a friend from Wednesday Wines like I said and I am very excited about the position. It is a 4 month contract, but could possibly turn to more, but no promises are made. They will let me know about 3/4 of the way through when the end date will be fore absolute certain so I can begin the job search again. Or who knows there might be a position within their organization. For now I will be working 8-4:30 every day and will be right in the smack dab middle of town! Right where we hoped to be and right next to the place we are hoping to rent....but we will see how that all works out. Thanks again for your prayers!!

AND

NEW HAIR



I have wanted to get my hair cut the last month or so and decided it was time. I was pretty excited to have the long hair gone and was hoping my hair lady would think the cut I wanted would work. She did an AMAZING job and even put blond highlights in the front really faint so that when the gray starts to come through it's a little more hidden....GREAT IDEA MOM! Thank you!!!




Thanks again for walking so faithful with us and watching the transformation and life we are leading. I am excited to see what God has for us and we are feeling more and more rested and ready to keep finding our place and what God has for us here.

Talk with you soon!!!

Wednesday Wines to Salvation Army

For those of you that followed my blog the last time I was in NZ you might remember my Wednesday Wines friends. It became the highlight of my week. Not for the wine, don't like wine, nor because it was at a fun place where I actually met my future brother in law, but I loved the rawness of these women I hung out with. They let me into this considerably younger circle of old high school friends.

Today one of those woman, I have yet to even catch up with here called about a 4 month job....at Salvation Army. What's special about that for me is I have looked at job openings there just last week emailed the director about volunteering there. Since college I always had this part of my heart that wanted to me more active helping my community but just never did it. Last week I decided to pursue volunteering & the life I wanted to live. So today came as a welcomed surprise!

I sent off my resume & will talk with them tomorrow or Friday because they need the position filled Monday. AND another friend wants me to do customer service 2 hours a day for his Party Band website, connecting bands with those that need them (such as wedding, school functions, dress up parties....that NZ seems to have far too often).

That job also starts Monday for a week trial, since they need someone for 2 months in the spring. Wow! 2 jobs in 20 minutes!!

Sam and I have talked tons about it & the 4 month nature of it, and are praying for wisdom & guidance. The arthritis job is a long shot, experience wise, and this job starts before applications close. I'm not worried or nervous, I know we will know what the right decsion is. The Salvation Army is where I'm leaning because of where I want to see myself & our family down the road, but the best well laid put plans don't always work....a verse that really could be my life mantra is "A man plans his steps but God determines his path.". Oh how many
memories that little truth conjures up for me. I've planned & planned so well...yet funnily enough end up right where I should be living out a designed purpose that I didn't plan.

All I can say to that is

THANK GOODNESS

God is GOOD

I'll keep you posted!!

Yikes It's March!!

Wow it's been a week since I've blogged. Not from lack of content but lack of Internet time. So here are a few highlights & some thoughts.

Job news: I have two applications that haven't been denied. One is a 6 month temp office job & the other is for a fundraiser position with the Arthritis NZ. The applications for the fundraiser close next Tuesday & a short list will be immediately created & interviews begin & end by next Friday. This job looks hard but challenging & more up my alley than pure admin. I am ready for a job & am choosing my hope to be in God's timing & trusting Him to help me as I wait.

Now for Sam!! He has his portfolio ready to be looked at by Mike (his photographer friend already in the industry) and will submit it as soon as that meeting happens. Here's a little explanation about what he's doing. He wants to work for a stock photo agency. A stock photo agency has a website & advertisers go there to choose pictures for their marketing and/or ad campaings. One day he hopes to be in international websites such as Getty. For now he has to start at places such as NZ Stock Photo. The reason he wants to go this direction is it plays to his strengths as a photographer. He can choose the models, choose a theme to capture, plan a shoot & then place the pictures on the site(s). Sam is very gifted at capturing a story, pulling out emotion, and finding a moment. All the while keeping composition good. That is why mike has opened doors for him.

He has been fixing cars for a bit, but it wasn't panning out so he has stopped that for now. I think he made a wise decision and then today he received a call to work with a guy on his business brochure. For me I sensed God's confirmation in that moment of Sam's wisdom & courage to keep moving what his God given talents are.

Today as I was running I was challenged again to live fully who God created me to be & be confident in His calling. To do that takes courage & while I feel like I lost my footing for a bit, there is something new happening in me. Yes, I'm changing like I said last week, but my friend Eve reminded me of an important Truth this week: I did the best with what I had. Don't be too upset.

True. Made me reflect all week & today as I ran I began to feel confident in the things I know & have done. There was a part of me in my 20's I looked back on and loathed. But reality is the things that made me move & chase what I thought God to be saying is a good part of me. Sure there was hurt & hard circumstances along the way. I like the life I led & the parts of me people pointed out negatively are the very parts of me that moved me to live the life I believe I was designed to live. What can I learn? Oh so much, but that's the journey right? I left parts of me in the shadows & was content because then maybe no more pain would come. Um...reality check. Pain is just part of life! I'm idealistic enough to hate that!! But truth is truth whether I choose to believe it, isn't it?


I don't know all that God has for me in NZ, but I do know this He has something. I some how knew I end up back in NZ married one day. I don't know how or why, and I'm not going to try & figure it out. So as I'm here there is some part of His heart I get to be apart of coomunicating to others. That is what excites me now. I still have my moments, don't we all? Where the temptation to doubt or question or just grumble & complain out loud or my personal favorite I seem to do more times than not, silently in my head! Yikes to recesses of a woman's mind can be scary. But they don't have to be. Here's what I know for sure this week:

My mind is a massive place where the quality of my life is determined.
God's good. Gooder than I think.
God's active today in our lives.
I'm me....messy, dramatic, stubborn, loud (oh man to be an American in a quiet culture!!!) and accepted & loved by God inspite of all my "short comings" I've deemed myself to have.

I have some new pictures to show you but it will have to wait for next time. I'm on my phone right now & can't upload pictures from there.

Talk to you again soon!!!