I HEART Daylight Savings

We just "SPRUNG" forward here!!!! I had been looking forward to this day more than I ever did in America. I was more than ready for light longer...and hopefully warm!

It was SO nice last night after work to come home with Sunshine still bright and high in the sky. Sam went off for a bike ride and while I was SOOO tired and VERY grouchy and I decided I might as well go for a walk. This is why we love living at the beach I reminded myself. I took my iPhone and put some good worship music on (since I was in such a bad mood I thought some positive music that was about God and not my little self centered self would be helpful:). I was less than 5 minutes down the road and was feeling better--even HAPPY. As you can see by the smile on my face! Gotta love those endorphins!



I walked by the bay and then around to the beach side and just enjoyed the sunshine and feeling healthy. There were SO many people out on walks, bike rides, and just enjoying the beach. I found myself quite teary on the walk--blasted prego emotions...well, I guess I am always teary :) I was just overwhelmed with how much God has done and how much He has deepened our faith and character. Hard times are just that HARD but the development is always worth it. It was such a sweet reminder yesterday.

We both got back about the same time and had SO much of the light evening still ahead. Even though we lost an hour of sleep the extra light and the fact that it was SUNNY more than made up for it. The rain and cold are coming again soon this week but at least there are a few days of sun and less and less of cold!!!

Birthday FUN

What a GREAT birthday weekend I had! Plus it seemed to last two days with me being a day ahead of everyone in America!!

Sam and I had a day together (which was SO nice after him working most weekends). He gave me my presents FIRST THING (AKA 6am!!) And they were such fun gifts! One was even a cup I mentioned once in Starbucks that I liked :) We went and saw a fun movie and had dinner at our friend Sally's. She made my favorite meal these days-- STEAK and Sweet Potato and Pumpkin! YUM!!

I received SO many Facebook messages and emails! I was so surprised and laughed at how much I receive love by words! I found myself smiling all day long as I checked my messages. I did laugh at how so many of my birthday wishes were from the States, where I haven't lived for a year...I said to Sam, "You can tell where I am investing all my relational energy still." :) I just haven't dialed in here to new friends and am quite okay with that. I felt very encouraged and loved by all the kind words and a little overwhelmed even by the sweet things that people said.

On Sunday Sam had to work all day and was very busy. It was a SUNNY day FINALLY!!! I was so excited! I went and got a Chai Latte in my new mug and headed to the beach to read and be in the sunshine.



Sam happened to be down at the beach shooting a race so I got to see him and hang out with him to my very HAPPY SURPRISE for a little while as he worked.



It was so nice to have a day of warm and NOT FREEZING weather! I even got a little color--I AM SO READY FOR SUMMER TIME TAN! The wind here has been so bad that Sunday was a much needed break. I am quite looking forward to enjoying the beach. I made it through the winter (almost) and now living at the beach will be worth the endurance of winter!

I spent the rest of the day with Sam's mom and family, buying baby stuff (with some of the money from the virtual shower!) It was so fun to be able to get things like a monitor and a diaper genie :) We even found a swing after MUCH searching! NZ has VERY VERY little swing options. Fisher Price only ships ONE, yep you read that right, ONE style to NZ! UGH!!! But we found one that is pretty cute if I do say so myself :)



His mom then made me my favorite meal again! Steak and sweet potatoes--YUM! It was quite a fun weekend and I felt spoiled and loved by all the gifts and words!

1 of the Million Reasons I Love My Parents

PACKAGES!!!!!!!!

My parents sent my birthday package this week--while one whole box was for Max (as it should be from Grandparents :) She also put in some fun stuff fur us! Look at all those snacks!! Now I will have to say those are ALL Sam's! But it warms my heart to have Blue Diamond Almonds in my house. I grew up on an Almond Orchard and we actually sold our almonds to Blue Diamond. Sam doesn't like to share food so I am sure I will only get a handful if that, but man NOTHING here compares to Smokehouse Blue Diamond Almonds!! My mom did slip one snack in for me though--STRIDE gum! I don't like the gum here at all. I know, I know, so weird, gum is gum. For some reason I don't really like any of it. So I am happily chewing Stride Gum as we speak :)

And the only thing that is making this HORRIBLE weather okay is that fact that I got to burn this yummy yummy candle this morning and my house smelled like Fall. While it is "technically Spring" the weather doesn't actually know that, it thinks it is late Fall or Winter. I asked my mom to send me a yummy Fall candle while they were out and I had EVERY intention of saving it for next Fall, but...I just couldn't wait. The smell was just TOO divine today and I am SOOO glad I burned it!!!

Thanks Mom and Dad!!!!

Prenatal Help from Beyonce

Many things about NZ are similar to the States and I often forget I am in a foreign country, yet some things are VERY different. For instance THE WEATHER, and the fact that it is 53 degrees today (and this is supposedly Spring) and has been so windy that Sam's job have consisted of taking pictures of the weather damage! Yet that did land him a few front pages...one of which was in a big Auckland Paper Sunday morning!!! WOO HOO!!

The pregnancy process is different here but I like the changes for the most part here. It is different than what I saw my friends do in the States to a point. Most of the differences I actually LOVE. I am very thankful to be having our first baby here in NZ. We have been going to prenatal classes for 3 weeks and have 3 weeks left to go. To say Sam doesn't enjoy it is a GRAND UNDERSTATEMENT, nonetheless he goes each week with me. I have enjoyed it, mostly because for me I wanted to understand the NZ hospital/pregnancy and delivery process.

One major difference is that everyone has a midwife in NZ(unless they know they are having a high/special needs baby). They tend to be a little different than the midwife "stigma" or "stereo type" in the States. Midwives here are highly trained specialists of pregnancy, birth and the medical side of both of that for the baby and the Mom. They train specially in birth/health/medical care for 3 years here and 2 of those years they are in classes as well as with a midwife learning hands on. We have a student with our midwife currently and we really like her. The experience looks exactly like my friends. I go to the office once a month, then twice now I am closer to the due date then every week once I hit 36 weeks. The midwives are seen as specialists here since their schooling was focused specifically on birth/mother/baby. They have very few OBGYN's and they are brought in if there is surgery/complications. As a "patient" once we get to the hospital we are under the midwives care. If there is something the hospital is telling us or asking us to do we don't feel comfortable with we talk to our a midwife. It is almost as if they "rent" the space from the hospital. Yet we get all the perks of the hospital too. There is always an OBGYN on call and always a Midwife on the hospital floor that is employed by the hospital. Our midwife is great! We have really enjoyed her and her professionalism is just like the doctors I have seen when going to appointments with friends. They just have the luxury of focusing only on delivering moms and picking the number of moms they take each month.

The other VERY cool thing they do here is PLUNKET. After you have your baby you have a Plunket nurse assigned to you who comes to see you to make sure you are doing okay, baby is doing okay and helps you with things like bathing, breast feeding, and/or wrapping your babies or anything else. They teach you here to swaddle your babies, which I saw in foreign countries all the time and saw friends that went to foreign countries and worked in orphanages always do....granted I am technically in a foreign country :) It is a very cool process and you can go to the Plunket nurses for as long as you like and they are always available to you. Pretty cool!

Before we see the Plunket nurses we stick with our midwife for awhile and she looks in on us the first week after the baby then hands us off to Plunket. Our midwife was actually a nurse for quite a few years then has done midwife for about 15. She is so fun and nothing is ever a "BIG DEAL." She is very empowering too always reminding us that I am doing all the work her and Sam are just there to cheer me on. Now reality is she does more than that but she just has a way of disarming things. Even our little hospital scare she handled so well. She is perfect for my personality and very OPINIONATED and STRONG which is what I want when we are in the hospital. I am so hoping that she is who delivers Max, it all depends how many babies she has that week/day. She has two back up midwives that will be fabulous too but I want her, of course.

Now back to our classes. It is amazing to see 12 woman all walk through the same thing and have such different responses. I am the ONLY one that has cried! Not once, not twice but three times. Now remember there has only be 3 classes so far! The used a replica of the bones that move in a woman to birth a baby and a doll to show what happens in birth and even in that I had tears streaming down my face while the other women were in SHEER TERROR of wondering how a baby was actually going to come out of them. Sam just looked at me and shook his head smiling at the fact that I was crying. And he could tell I was using all my strength to not ugly cry. Then we watched the birth video...of course, tears! No one else even flinched. I am sure in their Kiwi staunchness they had emotions inside but NONE came out. This week we toured the hospital and I heard a wee tiny baby cry/whimper and had to stop myself from bursting into tears!! Sam just looked at me and said this was quite emotional wasn't it? YEP.

One thing our midwife did tell us is that while Max is tight and secure in a head down position he is on the right side of my body. She wants him to move to my left side. Evidently most babies by nature move that way to then "slide out" in birth. Long labors and deliveries tend to be due to the baby making his way over there at his own pace, combined with your body getting ready makes for long and sometimes hard labor. So I am doing all the things I can to move his little body to the left. Plus I have two ladies specifically praying for the delivery/labor process and one of them made me DIE LAUGHING this morning in an email (which is why I asked them to pray because their humor and emails that we will be able to get on our phones in the hospital will keep me smiling and laughing!) with a simple Beyonce song to get Max to move...."To the left, to the left, to the left." HEHEHEHE if you know the song I bet you are at least smiling. If you haven't heard it google it and it will make you laugh too! I might need to download that to my phone so I can play the song whenever I need to remind him to move over!



We have another class tonight and then only two more left. While Sam is not enjoying it there are things that are helpful. :) With all the differences I thought a little explanation would be fun for you to see what we are experiencing.

FUN GIFT!!

Yesterday Max got a few special things in the mail from his Grammy....but along with those that were SO fun came these...





My Aunt Denise who I am A LOT like and Max's Great Auntie sent us Max these in the mail. They made us SMILE huge! I love how involved all my family and friends have been even so far away!

Thanks Auntie!!!

Baby Shower

Yesterday my mother in law and friend threw me a baby shower. They put so much work into coordinating all the food and decorations and made it look quite cute!

My Mother in Law made this SUPER gorgeous tree with Baby Max hanging from the branches! I thought it was SUPER CUTE!


My mother in law made individual cheesecakes (plus a WHOLE lot of other yummy things) and put little toys on the serving platters.


This wasn't even ALL the food! They did such a great job!


There were AMAZING banana yummy cupcakes. Rebekah is super creative and loves to make things that taste yummy and look cute. She made banana muffins cut them in thirds, layered carmel and bananas then the top was whip cream and carmel mixed with chocolate shavings on top!! YUMM-EE!




Standard Kiwi treat...fruit kabobs with marshmallows :) These are my favorites and my Mother in Law knows that :)


Yummy truffles...bought because they are brown (the baby's theme colors--Brown & Blue--and because they are my Mother in Law's favorites!)





My friend Rebekah that threw the shower!


My cutie Sister in Law and Max's Auntie Rosie


My good friend Sally


My little friend Georgia


My cute Mother in Law


I lived with Ali when I lived her 2 years ago, so it is so fun to have her at things like this.



My friend Rebekah made a boquet out of cupcakes! So creative and fun!!



We got lots of little outfits and some cute little blankets too! It was so sweet of them to do the shower and so wonderful to have people come. It was different not having friends and family from home for me but they made it special. I did have to LAUGH very hard at one VERY American moment that left most of the room appalled. Some mentioned that it was a sunny day and I will have to wash all the baby things and hang them out to dry since it was sunny. I quickly responded, knowing I was being a bit cheeky, with, "Don't forget I am American so I will dry all those clothes." At this point you would have thought I said I was going to feed Max poison on a regular basis. This awkward moment just spurred me on to make sure they knew it wasn't a crime in my head to run the dryer. My poor mother in law....she wasn't quite sure what to say with the fact that her first grandson would have dried clothes. I was quickly told that I couldn't dry the clothes with a few disapproving nods, even one friend that was towards the back of the room shook her head and said, "No you can't do that everything will shrink." To which I again cheekly replied, "Nope American babies survive just fine with dried clothes." Again, you might have thought I was going to allow Max to play with a loaded gun, but no just was going to use the dryer... :) AHHHH the differences of culture!

Other than my slight rebellion of having my baby shower with non American friends :) It was a wonderful day! My mother in law also did something else that was quite cute I thought. She wrapped a present from everyone in the family (even Sam's brothers and dad). So Maximillian had tons of things from his Aunties and Uncles and GG and Pops. Here are just a few of the things Max got:

A few onesies :)


His Auntie Rosie and Gracie got him my MOST Favorite things! Auntie Rosie bought him this cute Scooby Doo shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans like Sam wears.


And Auntie Gracie got him this cute skater shirt. It will be for when he is a little older but I LOVED IT!


Sally bought him these cute little blocks with old fashioned toys on them (His room is in old toys)



Another friend knew I was doing the room in old fashioned toys so she found this cute little truck for him.



I definitely MISSED having my mom and aunties and grandmothers there and the rest of my family, but felt like they were there in spirit :) And my friends and Mother in Law made it special for me and worked so hard making it not only fun, but cute!

I leave you with Maximillian's room. We still have a few other things to finish and I will post more pictures when it's all done, but here is the gist of his little boy room.

33 Weeks and a Few Pictures

What a fun night! We loved the Dave Dobbyn concert! Sam had to work at the beginning of it and did a great job getting pictures! Then we just sat back and enjoyed. It was a very small venue and we were very close to the front so Sam could work his magic. Listening to Dave Dobbyn play was effortless. There are no other words to describe his music. For me I felt like I was watching my life over the last two years in music. So many songs I heard the first time I was here, so many songs that I listened to Dave Dobbyn with Sam on our trip across the country and even one song in particular that left me in tears right before I left for New Zealand that found me in such a different space, yet spoke to me just the same. The song is called "Welcome Home." It is a song sung to people coming to NZ and when I was thinking of leaving America and coming to NZ it was one of the only things that seemed to bring peace. I remember saying VERY DRAMATICALLY one day to Sam, "At least Dave Dobbyn is welcoming me to NZ," after all the junk we walked through before we had even got there. Seriously a WEE BIT DRAMATIC looking back but I can remember crying as I heard that song. Almost one year later hearing that song was like walking through my memory, growth and the adventure that we have just endured. I still felt peace, but I was even more settled because of how God took this last year and allowed things, helped me get through things and most importantly shaped me in ways only He can do. It was a special moment and full of emotion and joy as I listened to the artist who wrote this song so many years ago and realized for me in this year it was meant for my heart.

After the concert which ended around 11pm, we even stopped by the bar that Sam's brother worked at for a yummy hot drink. It was so fun to be dressed up, be out enjoying each other and enjoying the blessing of it all being free! What a fun night! Here is a picture of us before we left.




AND....while Sam was getting ready I decided to play with photobooth a bit on the computer. These are NOT AT ALL Sam quality photos but between Sam working 10 days in a row and EVERY weekend being FULL OF RAIN!!! (Have I mentioned how OVER WINTER I AM?!?!??!) I thought these would at least tide you over until Sam can take some more.

I am 33 weeks only about 7 weeks to go!!!

TWO DATES - NO MONEY NEEDED

This is Dave Dobbyn. A Kiwi Icon and the guy that wrote a song that Sam proposed to me with over a year ago. Some of the Kiwi Icons I just don't get at all from lack of growing up in NZ, but I really like Dave Dobbyn. I liked him when I was here two years ago but I especially liked him after Sam used on his songs to make one of the best memories of my life.

Tonight we are going to one of his concerts for FREE! Sam has been working like crazy lately with one of the other photographers out with a hurt shoulder. It is his weekend off and he has to work, BUT he is working the concert and can only take pictures during 3 songs due to copyrights, therefore WE (because he got two free tickets as a journalist) get to enjoy the majority of the concert! I was pretty excited when he told me and couldn't believe we got to go for free. Dave Dobbyn was in this area in January, but we were to emotionally spent and trying to save money so we skipped it. Now we will get to enjoy it and for Sam he will be doing what he loves and going on a date....his perfect match!

THEN, due to Sam working so hard his work took notice and gave him an award this week at work for his effort. It was of course nice for all Sam's work to get noticed but beyond that he got two FREE movie tickets as a thank you for all his work!!! Going to the movies is our FAVORITE date!!!



Thanks to all Sam's hard work we get to go on not one BUT TWO dates that are perfectly us!!!

Grief

Wow it's been awhile since I have written anything. Being on a computer all day and having my phone break (which is the only way I was taking pictures this last year) might have contributed to lack of writing. But at the same time the last few weeks have been blissfully uneventful. It is funny how the mundane in life feels so good.

The last two years have been an incredible roller coaster, learning curve, frustrating and exciting two years. This last two weeks, though, I found myself breathing deeply (which is feat some days with this little tyke growing into my lungs these days!) when I was driving in the car by myself, or shopping in the grocery store where I now can locate things or just running errands that are regular every day tasks. It felt good to feel not in utter chaos wondering what was coming next. Now lest you think I don't remember the growing tummy and MAJOR life change that is coming in 8 short weeks, I do. The change of Maximillian coming seems so small compared to the days when I was living with numerous changes a day. Plus in my head I am not sure I have the whole concept "that he is actually coming out of me" down yet. :)

This week though seemingly, out of the blue grief struck. It felt odd, and weirdly in place versus out of place. It felt like an old companion that you pick up with right where you left off. The difference with this grief moment was a lack of "freaking out." Bless you all who stick in my life through all my "freak outs!" I love blogging mostly to look back and laugh at myself and the intensity in which I feel and communicate in those "freak outs," and then smile that there are still people in my life.

I was telling my mom this week that grief is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you in the oddest times once the major portion of grief is felt and walked through. The funny thing this week was I was grieving something that once was, which of course is normal and what grief is 9 times out of ten, but I was also grieving what wasn't. I didn't want what I was necessarily grieving over, but I did have the odd sensation that can't be explained with one word like sadness or anger or fear. Grief isn't one emotion, it's a state of being for a brief moment. Even if grief lasts for months and years it is still a brief moment in the life and experiences we have lived and yet to live.

I love running! I miss running a tiny bit now that I am pregnant. I, too, love running emotionally and that can be done out of shape, 8 months pregnant or in top peak athletic condition. This time I didn't run from the grief and I didn't let it become a human form nor did I let it scare me into thinking that I had to run. Ironically, a lot of this learning has come through some friends and friends of friends walking through personal health nightmares. As I have read their process of pain, grieving and faith I have been inspired and changed. Coupled with a great counselor here in NZ helping me process all the craziness of life the last 2 years I noticed something this week. My emotions didn't win, nor did they stay forever. I had a friend say something last week that struck me, while I wanted to roll my eyes at first I found myself repeating this quote and just digesting it. "Our role with our emotions is to say to them, 'I see you. I hear you. I recognize you, and I even honor you. But you won't rule me!'"

I have to be honest at first I didn't just think of rolling my eyes, I did. But the more I digested it I realized that is what I have been learning this last year. Painful experiences brought pain. Novel thought, I know. But through that pain such incredible growth has sprung up. I know, I know, not a new concept, but this time the pain was deeper, the change was more intense, and the grieving seemed never ending and out of place because there were so many NEW and GREAT things in my life. Yet somehow out of it all good was produced. I don't get it and I don't even want to figure out how it happened. It just happened. Am I glad that pain was mixed with all the new and exciting things in my life? NOPE. Am I am thankful for all that it brought me and how it grew me? YEP.

So I see why grief was more like a companion this time and not a foe to be tackled, hit and demolished. Grief, from change and pain, had become a companion that I didn't fear. I didn't welcome as of yet, but I didn't fear. As I walked through my Saturday I let the grief come and even a few tears. I quoted some verses that seemed to get me through the toughest emotion and then I did what I do best--cleaned, got a pedicure, baked sweets (and even ate some that I will pay for later but man it tasted good going down!) and enjoyed the sunshine that had finally come to NZ. By the end of the day I still had random fleeting thoughts and questions unanswered but I just looked at my companion grief, shrugged my shoulders and enjoyed the night with Sam and his family.

Grief. No one likes it. Most hate why it has to visit in the first place. All hope that they might be able to avoid it. But like most good companions it won't run from us because it too understands the powerful place it has in our hearts and lives to bring healing and eventually hope. A faithful friend that doesn't listen to our screams, fears and definitely doesn't seem to take running away personally, grief just waits it out and gently pops into our life until the work is complete.