Sprouts

While I don't have house pictures or pregnant pictures I thought I would show you what I have been looking at non stop lately.




They have nothing like that here really, and I of course will have to recreate what I find on line in these magazines but I am excited to start creating a home again. The week has been crazy with work, Sam fixing the car, trying to unpack, and still feeling SUPER tired this week. It was a nice feeling to sit down and have dinner in a non chaotic, albeit kind of empty house right now. It's our own little house and I am so looking forward to transforming it into our little home. I will put some pictures up soon.

I actually did very very well with having the house in chaos for a week, but last night we finally put most stuff away. Now by away I mean hidden for now :) But it was quite exciting to begin to see some growth in me in some of these areas this week. It feels like this year has been stretching and challenging all the way around, but the last 4 or 5 days I feel like I have begun to see those tiny sprouts that one waits for after they have planted their favorite flower, herb or vegi. I have very avid gardeners for friends and my friend Trisha was very excited about her new hydrangea.




And my other friend, Alyssa posted on her blog her new gardening box with the beginnings of her yummy vegi's that the kids and her planted. Sea Jay and Danielle would get so EXCITED about any new flower or plant they would see pop up. I was never that into gardening, though I like the product. I LOVE fresh flowers and yummy fruit and vegetables, but the process just seemed very "unfun" to me. I think because while lots of my friends do enjoy the process it actually isn't that fun or easy of a process for me. I can equate that to my own life on so many levels this year. I love the product of a chilled out life or a life free from bitterness or anger, but the process, man oh man, it just isn't always that fun.

This week I had that "moment" though. I had the moment I have watched my friends get so excited about it. That moment like my friend Trisha posting her new little hydrangea. (which by the way hope she doesn't mine I stole it off her beenup2 page) I saw something new in me emerge in a few areas this last week. I even saw forgiveness and letting go of some pretty painful hurts this week. Funny thing is I have wanted to let go and have been forgiving as best I knew how but this week I saw something different. I walked around all day in shock at some of my internal reactions. I don't know about you, but sometimes I can give the "right" or "perfect" external reaction but that internal one is not pretty. That isn't all bad I learned, and it is good that most days there is a delay between my head and my mouth...most days at least. This week it just felt different. It felt less heavy on me. It feel less hard to be okay with some one's discomfort and disapproval of me. It felt easier to watch some one's reaction to me that was hurtful or poor. Ironically, I thought I had learned some of these lessons. Beauty comes in stages in life, though. I look at my grandparents and my Great Auntie who is in her late 90's and as spunky and beautiful as ever but looks nothing like a 20 year old beauty that she was, yet somehow her beauty is deeper, more rich, more perfect.

I guess I am learning what so many before have me learned: life is beautiful and the process of everyday life will beautify along the way. God is the creator and author of people, emotions, beauty and life and as I walked such a tumultuous road with God this year the beauty that I am only beginning to see has made it worth it.