Comfy Clothes

You know those clothes that when you put on that make you feel happy, comfy, like the world is all in order? Or those "go to" clothes. Those clothes that if you are having a day that you need to feel confident or you woke up feeling less than confident you know that this shirt, pair of pants, sweatshirt, sweater...whatever it is will do the trick, even if you did wear it the day before you still put it on justifying to yourself you will see new people today. Heck, the need for confidence trumps pride at this point. I LOVE those clothes. I have a quite a few of those in my closet and some I have sadly had to say good bye to as they ended up in shreds after years of comfort. Everyone has at least one in their closet. My dad even had a pair of bright yellow sweats that he LOVED. They were fuzzy and bright Turlock High yellow, aka the 'gold' in Turlock Bulldogs 'Blue & Gold' school colors. I liked them, my mom--not so much and my mom's friend who came over a lot teased my dad relentlessly about them. See we all have those comfy clothes. Sometimes we do have to get rid of them (or in my poor dad's case when he was on a trip they mysteriously disappeared in one of my mom's clean outs) but do it begrudgingly and wonder if we could ever really replace them.

This weekend it was beautiful but very cold. Winter is settling in here in NZ and I am not ready for it at all! But I am gravitating towards those comfy warm clothes that bring a little warmth and make me feel comfy as I try to get warm in the non heated houses here. I realized on Saturday and Sunday morning though that sometimes a place or a person can generate that same warm feeling. I got a call on Saturday morning from a friend that is like that old college sweatshirt that is perfectly baggy, warm and reminds you a good moments. We chatted for a bit, I cried--blaming it on the pregnancy hormones, but reality is it is just me, we laughed, made fun of our craziness and laughed at ourselves and both felt a little less crazy about who we were and the life we are leading. Sam got up shortly after I got off the phone and by the smile on my face he knew which friend I had just chatted with....some people are like those comfy hoodies that make your day better.

Sunday morning though, I realized in a new way that a place can also serve that same purpose. We tried a new church on Sunday where a couple that Sam went to school with goes. We had them over for dinner the other night and enjoyed them and their little kiddos. It's interesting in this town, no one really enjoys their church. They told us where they went to church but quickly said they don't love it. It seems like that has been the same thing I have heard over and over. I took for granted what I had in Redding, at home, and in LA. Church is very different here for me and I am adjusting to a new culture where English is spoken but the cultural differences are enough to make you wonder if English really is the same language. I grew up LOVING church and enjoying the experience. I had great Bible teachers, models in the church from young to old that weren't perfect but lived out loving Jesus and God's grace and went to churches that tried to love people and follow Jesus and His ways. I noticed while I was here last year and again am noticing that my experience is very rare to what most people have experienced. Most of my conversations with friends that didn't go to church then and still don't centered more around sharing my experience and my interaction with God and was left there. Questions were asked sometimes, and I often received surprised looks at what I experienced but then the conversation ended until they were ready to talk about it all again. Such an interesting dynamic in this place. I bumped into a couple on the beach that noticed my American Accent and told me that for them this area was much like the Bible Belt in the South. I only lived in North Carolina, but the analogy gave words to some of my experiences.

As we walked in Sunday morning I had that 'comfy hoodie' feeling. The songs were from when I was in high school and college, we ended up sitting in the middle of the "older people" section (One lady sweetly introduced herself and said, 'you two should be sitting on that side of the church.' She was so sweet and it made me laugh that there were unspoken sections) and it was like being transported back to my home church when I was a little girl. For me that was the perfect combination to help me have a good experience. I cried all through the songs, some pregnancy emotions, some walking through the doors of yet another church after a hard experience mixed in within the feeling of comfort and ease that I felt, much like a comfy hoodie. I needed to feel that familiar feeling, the place where God came so naturally, where I understood life, where memories of God's power, love and forgiveness came rushing in two at a time. For me it was what I needed and I was thankful for this sweet little church in the middle of this tiny town. It restored something inside of me. It was such a great morning for me and one that I needed. Comfy clothes, comfy friend, and comfy church. Comfort zones aren't always the best to stay in, but at times I think God loves us enough to give us all three in one weekend.

And just to make you all smile I had Sam take a picture of me in my new maternity clothes my mom sent. I was trying so hard to wear them and while they fit to a point please notice how long the dress is in the front...I guess I need that tummy to start sticking out to make it fit right. :)

Residency Application=DONE

After much paperwork, forms, medical certificates, police certificates, money and a tad of reminiscing I have my Residency Application all ready to send off today. We have to enclose personal emails, short and long term future goals, a detailed travel itinerary, letters from family and friends affirming that we are married and in love and I am not trying to sneak my way into New Zealand, (Thank you to those of you that wrote letters back in January. I have resubmitted the same letters) and pictures (luckily my blog tracks our story quite nicely with pictures included--yet another reason I am a fan of blogs!)

I had submitted most of the same emails, blogs and pictures that I submitted for my work permit in January, but it was such again a fun moment to re look at all of those sweet moments and the story that God weaved together over the last 2 years now.

We would love your prayers for a couple specific things in this process.

My pregnancy could pose an issue as one of the questions I read was "Are you planning on getting pregnant within the next 2 years." And I just received from the hospital here a letter saying that they have no proof I am eligible for free health care in this process. Please pray that I would be approved and being given residency without this becoming an issue.

The process can be excruciatingly hard and long or simple. We could have to sit for an interview and we could not. It all depends on who receives and processes our application. Pray for favor over our application when it is received next Monday.


Thank you for being a part of our process and praying with us through all of our journey. We have seen our faith shaken, grown, shrink and strengthened all through this process. The Truth remains the same though--God is always watching, never forgetting and working all things together for those who love Him.

Long Awaited Pregnancy Pictures

But I have to warn you that there really is not much happening in the "showing" area, but today after getting another message wanting pictures I thought I would put some up just to give you a teaser. I actually made Sam take a picture before I left work....hehehehe, he is so great! He even turned on the light and happily, though sleepily took two pictures for everyone this morning.





Please take note of the jacket I am wearing! It is starting to get very cold here and I am wearing jackets most days to work and keeping them on all day since there are no heaters in buildings!! While I complain of jackets, and envy of the sun you are all feeling in the States and hopefully in Holland Mike and Holly and Tyler, the jackets have been a great transition since clothes don't fit great but I am not ready for pregnancy clothes. I will try again this weekend to wear some of the few things I have but most likely will just get a good laugh out of it. My friend at work said that with her first she was very similar then one morning woke up and had a HUGE baby bump. I guess it's true for me, the first baby just doesn't show much! We will keep posting pictures even if I don't show for awhile longer. It's good that I saw the little life wiggling inside me and heard the little heartbeat because some days I wonder if I am really pregnant still.

So for now there is the "baby bump" picture. :)

Sprouts

While I don't have house pictures or pregnant pictures I thought I would show you what I have been looking at non stop lately.




They have nothing like that here really, and I of course will have to recreate what I find on line in these magazines but I am excited to start creating a home again. The week has been crazy with work, Sam fixing the car, trying to unpack, and still feeling SUPER tired this week. It was a nice feeling to sit down and have dinner in a non chaotic, albeit kind of empty house right now. It's our own little house and I am so looking forward to transforming it into our little home. I will put some pictures up soon.

I actually did very very well with having the house in chaos for a week, but last night we finally put most stuff away. Now by away I mean hidden for now :) But it was quite exciting to begin to see some growth in me in some of these areas this week. It feels like this year has been stretching and challenging all the way around, but the last 4 or 5 days I feel like I have begun to see those tiny sprouts that one waits for after they have planted their favorite flower, herb or vegi. I have very avid gardeners for friends and my friend Trisha was very excited about her new hydrangea.




And my other friend, Alyssa posted on her blog her new gardening box with the beginnings of her yummy vegi's that the kids and her planted. Sea Jay and Danielle would get so EXCITED about any new flower or plant they would see pop up. I was never that into gardening, though I like the product. I LOVE fresh flowers and yummy fruit and vegetables, but the process just seemed very "unfun" to me. I think because while lots of my friends do enjoy the process it actually isn't that fun or easy of a process for me. I can equate that to my own life on so many levels this year. I love the product of a chilled out life or a life free from bitterness or anger, but the process, man oh man, it just isn't always that fun.

This week I had that "moment" though. I had the moment I have watched my friends get so excited about it. That moment like my friend Trisha posting her new little hydrangea. (which by the way hope she doesn't mine I stole it off her beenup2 page) I saw something new in me emerge in a few areas this last week. I even saw forgiveness and letting go of some pretty painful hurts this week. Funny thing is I have wanted to let go and have been forgiving as best I knew how but this week I saw something different. I walked around all day in shock at some of my internal reactions. I don't know about you, but sometimes I can give the "right" or "perfect" external reaction but that internal one is not pretty. That isn't all bad I learned, and it is good that most days there is a delay between my head and my mouth...most days at least. This week it just felt different. It felt less heavy on me. It feel less hard to be okay with some one's discomfort and disapproval of me. It felt easier to watch some one's reaction to me that was hurtful or poor. Ironically, I thought I had learned some of these lessons. Beauty comes in stages in life, though. I look at my grandparents and my Great Auntie who is in her late 90's and as spunky and beautiful as ever but looks nothing like a 20 year old beauty that she was, yet somehow her beauty is deeper, more rich, more perfect.

I guess I am learning what so many before have me learned: life is beautiful and the process of everyday life will beautify along the way. God is the creator and author of people, emotions, beauty and life and as I walked such a tumultuous road with God this year the beauty that I am only beginning to see has made it worth it.

Moving Day

As I sit at work Sam is moving all our belongings to our new house. What a week we have had! The car has had some "issues" which has been a bit discouraging and hard on us but this is when I appreciate Sam's "past life" even more. He was trained as a mechanic before I met him so he knows how to fix it. It was one of those hard things that would take work but should be straightforward. Nope. So many little things happened along the week that I was left speechless at times. My parents and Aunt Denise continue to be faithful at their prayers for us and the little things in our life, plus some good friends kept praying for all the details which was so needed after I was at a loss of even how to pray.

Sam has one last part in a shop today for cleaning and then he can put it all back together. We moved in today even though the car won't be done until Sam finishes it this weekend...along with doing a 30 person family portrait for a 50th anniversary. Like I said, what a week!

At the end of the day it is just life. I sat with a friend yesterday and she cried as she talked about the last 2 years and the lack of "letting up" that has just not happened for them. They are a few years down the road from us and it was heart breaking to hear, but also so sweet to hear her remind me through her tears that this is how character is built. Her exact words were, "All those shallow people in the world have never had hard stuff and man I want to be shallow right now!" It made us both laugh a little because I could relate to wanting to scream at times as well through this last year. You just have to laugh and take it all in stride.

Sam and I are coming up on one year and the year we have had has felt like 10 years plus 4 lives: Florida life, California life, NZ at his parents life and now finally our life on our own after 8 long months of living with others.

As soon as we get our stuff unpacked I will post pictures of the inside, promise! And there is no baby bump yet but I as well promise that as soon as I start showing I will post pictures so all of you can see.

HOUSE!!!!

After a very tumultuous week we have exciting news....


WE HAVE A HOUSE!!!





I have to admit my faith was struggling this week and felt so weary in disappointment. We had news this week that left us feeling a bit defeated and confused. With a few friends and my parents encouraging us and refocusing us we found our feet again last night. We also looked at one of the houses for rent we had seen. We LOVED the location and really liked the house. It reminded me of my Nana's and Great Aunt's house. It is older, but WARM....that was my first question. :) It is a two bedroom little cottage behind another house the owner lives in. It is a sweet old couple that surprised us this afternoon with a call offering us the place. They had asked us to give them a few days because they had others to look at the house and they had their ad up for one more week. Within hours she left me a message offering us the house. I think between me being pregnant, Sam always winning over the old ladies and mostly God showing us His goodness when we were fighting to remember and choose He is good, the house was offered to us.

We are seconds away from the beach and the downtown of the Mount. It is a location that most people beg for here. (and pay top dollar) It was actually the cheapest house we saw and with the least amount down for a deposit.

We will of course take pictures when we can get in and keep you posted, but for now I couldn't help but take a second to share news that was much needed for us this week!

GREAT WEEKEND

We had the best weekend away. It was one of my most favorite times we have had as a couple. There was nothing overly special, just the simplicity of being together. We spent time with his Nana, walked down by the water in Devonport, had a hot chocolate and flat white, spent time with Sam's family friends, laughed for hours in front of a fire, looked at old pictures, had great conversation and even had one of Sam's parents friends sit with Sam for hours helping him plan out our next steps in business. It was such a neat time to watch a very accomplished business woman (she runs the business side of her husband's photography business which is one of the top ones in NZ) sit with Sam and not only encourage him and praise his talent but look him in the eye and tell him she wanted to invest in him and help take 10 years of figuring out his business off his career and fast track him where he can be. She was so in tune with where we were without even seeing Sam for years.

We also sat with other family friends Sam grew up with for hours on Saturday night looking at old pictures and hearing story after story about their times growing up and vacations at the beach and how funny the kids were. It was so fun to be caught up in these memories. It reminds me of the moments I have had with my mom's friends Patty and Shirly or my Dad's friends Mike and Tim. There is something about those best friends of your parents. The way they watched you grow up, the way they just love you unconditionally, the way they are almost as proud of you as your parents....such a incredible experience that I don't take for granted. While I don't get to see my parents friends regularly I cherish who they are and have been in my life. Saturday night I was just so thankful for them and grateful for the part they played in my life. I look forward to the day I am sitting with my best friends kids and they will bring their spouses over and we will get to love on them. And maybe tell a few stories that will make them blush...

And at the end of the weekend I felt like I had just ate a HUGE yummy ice cream and then got to add sprinkles on top. We were able to get a car! After a few long months of waiting and looking Sam found us the perfect car for an incredible price.
It is quite the family car, but in the end that both made us smile at the new places we are going. While these last few months have been so trying and challenging the gift we received in the midst of it of a strong foundation of friendship built, working together to make life work, and seeing God in ways we never expected or didn't notice until now has made the journey so precious.